Marhaba couples: Where are they now?
During this year's Marhaba Open Mic, seniors Jamie Sutherland and Roshni Dadlani performed a skit about the trials and tribulations of romance at NYU ...
May 9, 2015
During this year's Marhaba Open Mic, seniors Jamie Sutherland and Roshni Dadlani performed a skit about the trials and tribulations of romance at NYU Abu Dhabi, starting with an example of campus love that has since become a hallmark among students: the Marhaba couple.
Throughout the years, the term Marhaba couple has gained special recognition, referring to relationships that begin during NYUAD’s orientation week, when freshmen meet for the first time in a heady rush of scheduled events, lectures and copious bouts of Facebook-stalking.
Some of these relationships have since ended on tense terms, while others turn into comfortable friendships or continue to flourish. One Marhaba couple, sophomores Travis Sweeney and Janna Kiseeva, are now engaged.
“I think there is something positive to that label," wrote Sutherland to The Gazelle. "Many are skeptical of the chances of finding the right person so quickly, but if it turns out that those involved are happy weeks, months or even years later, then there is a romance to it.”
Marhaba week is, in many ways, different from welcome weeks at other universities. With most events compulsory, Marhaba strives to be a catalyst for students to bond and connect, and its rushed pace can fast-forward intimacy.
Junior Isabelle Galet-Lalande, who had also experienced a university welcome week in Australia, mentioned how Marhaba was a stark contrast to what she saw back home. In Australia, she already knew other students and wasn’t required to attend events, and the tone of the week was much more laid-back.
“Whereas here, what else are you going to do but hang out? You’re in a new place here, you don’t have your old friends,” Galet-Lalande said.
Galet-Lalande felt that Marhaba required a lot of emotional effort to constantly engage with so many new people, including those who were very different from who she was, while also making new friends.
“It’s nice when you meet someone and you don’t have to try,” said Galet-Lalande. “This relates to why you would fall for someone much quicker in Marhaba — it’s just when you find that person who you feel totally comfortable with.”
During Marhaba week, this person, for Galet-Lalande, was junior Allen Magnusson.
First impressions
In a funny coincidence, both Galet-Lalande and Magnusson had shown their curious friends back home each other’s Facebook profiles prior to arriving to Abu Dhabi and even setting foot on campus.“At one point, my best friend clicks on Isabelle’s profile,” said Magnusson. “[He said], ‘Wait this girl looks really alternative and is French Australian — Allen, you’re going to end up dating this girl.’ And I was just like, ‘Shhh … I don’t even know her.’”
Upon arrival, however, Magnusson and Galet-Lalande quickly found each other in similar friend circles. One evening, when everyone from their group of friends left to rest before early morning activities and only the two of them remained in the lounge, they found out that they had a lot of shared mutual interests in music and film.
“And then things keep happening and all of a sudden we’re playing some super romantic music on my laptop and the rest is pretty much history,” said Magnusson.
For Galet-Lalande, Magnusson’s performance of a Roy Orbison song at the Marhaba Open Mic marked the moment when she was sure that she liked him.
“I literally just died. I was like, ‘Oh my god, this guy,’” said Galet-Lalande. “I couldn't believe he was being such a dork. In a good way."
Flash forward a couple months later, and Galet-Lalande and Magnusson were having a good time – they were talking, getting to know each other better – and trying to figure out what they were doing. Then one day, it just fell apart.
"I'd thought everything was going great,” said Magnusson.
For Magnusson, novelty or different experiences and worldviews were really attractive at the start of his collegiate career. He referred to Marhaba as a pressure cooker. With all the new people he met — a lot of whom, he says, were really interesting, beautiful and from places he'd never been – he found it easy to fall for someone.
“I think Marhaba couples are an interesting phenomenon, but it’s not surprising that a lot of these brief love affairs peter out after a while, after people sort of figure out who they are and what they really want to do,” said Magnusson.
“But in our case, it’s a little bit different because ... we are still friends,” continued Magnusson.
Galet-Lalande mentioned that she felt that Marhaba relationships are often perceived as rushed and formed without much thought. Although any relationship is a risk, especially if it is romantic, she thinks the trouble comes when you are not used to the dating environment at NYUAD, which was a world away from what she experienced at home.
“Here it’s intense from day one, or at least it is if you don’t know how to handle this kind of environment,” said Galet-Lalande. “I feel like those who could handle it from the get-go were either very emotionally mature, in a way that I wasn’t at the time, or had been in very insular settings where they were used to seeing people every day, and [did not care] about what people say.”
Galet-Lalande explained that she felt almost stuck in the claustrophobic atmosphere of their first few weeks at school, and compared her experience to celebrity relationships, since students had known each other's every move, especially since the campus had been much smaller at the time. Personal problems, combined with her initial doubts about being in Abu Dhabi in the first place, prompted her to end the relationship.
Today, Galet-Lalande and Magnusson are good friends. This past summer, after a year and half of not seeing each other, they met up in New York. Galet-Lalande and Magnusson had in many ways remained similar, but they also noticed differences in each other. Magnusson mentioned how Galet-Lalande was more grown up and focused on who she is, what she wants to do and the things she cares about.
They talked about the past, without developing or rekindling any of the romantic interest. Galet-Lalande was glad that they had broken out from the superficial protection of talking about music and film and instead were focused on the personal level: the questions of "How are you?" and the sincerities of "I missed you." Everything was much more chill and upfront, she said.
From Marhaba to Marriage
For sophomore Sweeney, one half of a Marhaba couple that is now engaged, Marhaba was a mass meet-and-greet centered around fun activities, which easily facilitated the development of relationships.“If you're going to make a really strong connection with someone ... it’s probably going to be around Marhaba, because after Marhaba there is probably less than ten percent of the student body in your class that you haven’t met at that point,” Sweeney said.
This strong connection took place between Sweeney and Kiseeva when they met on the third day of Marhaba, playing frisbee on sports night.
Sweeney, at that point, had met mostly everyone except for Kiseeva, and so he was surprised to see a new face. While on opposite teams, both silently noted how well the other played at the game. After the last event of the day, they started walking in the same direction.
“I used this as a window of opportunity to start a conversation,” Sweeney said.
They sat together on the bus ride back from the event and talked on the way home. While riding the Sama Tower elevator, their conversation was abruptly interrupted when they reached their separate floors. Later on, however, Kiseeva reached out to Sweeney and suggested that they hang out.
After a beach trip on one of the last days of Marhaba, when they stayed long after the beach closed, Sweeney and Kiseeva became a couple, and have stayed together ever since.
Immediately after getting together, Sweeney and Kiseeva both heard the term Marhaba couple used in reference to their relationship within the first couple of weeks of dating.
“People were already telling us about some of the [now graduated] Marhaba couples and how there are one or two that have stayed together since their freshman Marhaba week,” said Sweeney.
“If anything, [the term] has a sort of romanticism attached to it," he said. "You know, like the first thing you do when you get here is jump into a relationship. It’s accurate and not offensive at all.”
However, not all of the comments they received were favorable, according to Kiseeva.
“At first there was a lot of criticism about not just us, but whoever started dating from the very beginning, and people would be betting almost on how much we as a couple were going to last,” said Kiseeva.
“A lot of time there would be catty remarks of like, ‘Oh, you're not holding hands this time. What’s wrong?’” Sweeney added. “I think people here are very cynical about relationships at this environment, and there might be almost a level of envy because ... it’s likely that in a campus of 500 people on site at any given time, you might not have someone you are really compatible with at all.”
Kiseeva and Sweeney’s relationship has continued to this day. They have been able to make plans to stay together throughout their academic careers, deciding to study abroad together in New York.
Sweeney said that there were many fortunate coincidences throughout their relationship that helped them stay together.
“There are a lot of things that were pretty improbable that were instrumental to making this relationship work,” said Sweeney. “The fact that we were together this past January Term in Italy, and her family moving to the US … really came together.”
Kiseeva now sports an engagement ring, and the couple plans to get married sometime before their senior year.
Melinda Szekeres is news editor. Email her at feedback@gzl.me.
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