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Experts say NYUAD's next Facebook fight could be any day now
ABU DHABI (The Lyle White Report) — Recently, a group of scientists have concluded that NYU Abu Dhabi is long due for its next Facebook fight. “Yes, ...
Jun 24, 2015
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ABU DHABI (The Lyle White Report) — Recently, a group of scientists have concluded that NYU Abu Dhabi is long due for its next Facebook fight.
“Yes, we’re running a little behind schedule,” said Dr. Alyosha Rochester, professor of psychology at University of Oregon. “We’re surprised it hasn’t happened yet, but we know it’s only a matter of time before the next frenzy of inflammatory comments and spamming begins.”
This sentiment was echoed by Rochester’s fellow researcher Dr. Jessica Buendia, who added that the next outbreak could happen as soon as this week.
“The new incoming class is joining the Room of Requirement page. Sooner or later, one of them is bound to make a post and then get mercilessly mocked for it,” said Buendia. “You can’t argue with science.”
As for possible reasons behind the delay, the researchers cited busy summer schedules, a decrease in Facebook activity and NYUAD students finally realizing they’re becoming parodies of themselves.
“Another possibility is the shift in demographics on the groups,” added Buendia.
According to her, ethnographic research of the page has revealed that each Facebook fight recycles the same social roles again and again.
“Several graduated students have left the page, so now there’s a vacuum that needs to be filled,” Rochester said. “Students are probably confused.”
Newly available roles include Passive-Aggressive Upperclassman, Unproductive Troll and Guy Who Always Posts that One GIF of Somebody Eating Popcorn.
Buendia and Rochester said that they are able to track fights so accurately because the bickering follows a very predictable pattern.
“It usually starts with a complaint of some kind, a student grievance,” said Buendia. “A person will respond with a sassy comment, followed by a few personal attacks, some implicit homophobia — it’s all very straight-forward.”
Rochester added that sometimes fights mature into what is known as the Supernova Stage, in which posters begin complaining about the fight on the thread through meta-commentary that eventually “collapses into itself because it’s so pointless.”
When asked if there was anything students could do to avoid these Facebook confrontations, Rochester shook his head.
“There simply isn’t, which is a good thing for me,” he said. “I used to study conflict resolution in war zones, but this is far more interesting.”
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