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Graduates Contractually Required to Change the World
ABU DHABI (The Lyle White Report) — In anticipation of NYU Abu Dhabi’s upcoming commencement ceremony, all graduating seniors will be required to enter ...
May 2, 2015
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ABU DHABI (The Lyle White Report) — In anticipation of NYU Abu Dhabi’s upcoming commencement ceremony, all graduating seniors will be required to enter a binding contract to change the world.
Administered by the Office of Public Affairs, the contract stipulates that, “All graduates must sufficiently change the world and/or become global leaders within a 20-year time span that begins May 24, 2015,” the date of commencement. Students cannot receive a degree without signing the contract.
“We’ve developed a five-point scale to judge world change sufficiency,” said Officer of Public Affairs Shonda Díaz. “One equals founding a renowned NGO, five equals ending racism everywhere forever. Graduates have to score three or higher.”
While becoming president or dictator of a country is an automatic pass, Díaz said the five-point scale creates flexibility, as there are a limited number of countries in the world for alumni to rule.
At the end of each 20-year time span, NYUAD will hire a private investigation firm to track down alumni and produce Where Are They Now? reports to be submitted as proof of fulfilment or breach of contract.
“Failure to change the world, and therefore failure to fulfill the contract, incurs a heavy fine,” said Díaz. The fine is approximated at the price of four years’ tuition at NYUAD, but can be worked off in volunteer years with Habitat for Humanity.
Seniors must have their individualized strategy and timeline for changing the world approved by their academic mentors.
Some students have sought to appeal the contract, claiming that they do not necessarily want to become global leaders.
“We don’t understand why this contract comes as a surprise. All NYUAD students enrolled with the understanding that we’re looking for global leaders,” said Díaz. “Check the pamphlets.”
Following news of the world-changing contract, the Registrar’s office was flooded with major-change requests from underclassmen. The percentage of Political Science and Social Research and Public Policy majors spiked at an all-time high.
The Career Development Center is launching a new workshop, How to Compromise on Your Life Principles and Submit to Capitalism, in order to support the remaining nine students still pursuing a major in the Arts and Humanities.
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