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ABU DHABI (The Lyle White Report) — A recent change in university policy ruffled some student feathers yesterday, when administration officially banned wearing jeans on campus in a Student Portal announcement. Administrators implemented the policy after concluding that denim was not "in line with the original design aesthetic of the university’s campus."

Citing a "lack of architectural harmony" and "potential for visual discord," university spokesman Jebediah Kindler said the denim ban would ensure that the campus’ physical beauty be preserved, and not jeopardized by student taste.

“We’ve worked very hard to weed out aspects of the campus that aren’t in line with its overarching aesthetic, such as posters, furniture and bean bags,” he said. “The last logical step was student fashion faux pas.”

“For similar aesthetic reasons, we’re also asking that students wearing blue refrain from standing near any orange furniture on campus, and vice versa,” added Kindler.

Despite student complaints, Kindler said that the denim ban had always been part of the Saadiyat Campus’ initial vision.

Beginning today, students walking around campus found in violation of the denim ban will be asked to wear administration-approved Saadiyat Ponchos.™ The Ponchos™are polyester, grey and bear the NYU Abu Dhabi logo; their recent arrival in mass shipment is what allowed the denim ban to finally take effect.

“The Ponchos are actually part of a larger Saadiyat Fashion line that we’ve been designing and will roll out soon,” said Kindler. “We’re very excited about it, and we think students will be too.”

According to Kindler, the Saadiyat Fashion fall collection will take its inspiration from the beautiful buildings and spaces that students call home. Silver-grey Ponchos™ will blend in with the soft illumination of library lighting, while cement-grey Ponchos™ reflect the sticky floors of student dorms. All items will be available at the convenience store in fall 2015.

“My favorite piece is the grey-tinged Poncho.™ Its bulky frame pays homage to the senseless inconvenience of the elevator policy,” said Kindler.

Kindler admitted, however, that there has been recent misinformation surrounding the ban; administrators hung notices around campus to explain implementation, but the Facilities Team promptly took them down for violating the university's poster policy.