Graphic by Lucas Olscamp/The Gazelle

I’ve now volunteered in a rehabilitation centre in Cambodia for child victims of human trafficking and sexual exploitation for four years. A small group of us spend two weeks with 90 children, mostly girls, and do art and music therapy alongside more light-hearted activities such as group games and English classes. While the nature of these activities does not seem very impactful, the purpose of the visits lies more in the positive interactions that can occur between the children and the volunteers.

Most of the girls have trust issues that run deep within their personalities. This is one of the major reasons why male visits are strongly encouraged: to re-introduce positive male influences in their lives. Many male students from my old high school in Hong Kong express interest in visiting and some do eventually make their way to the dirt roads of Cambodia. However, they rarely come back to volunteer after their first visit.

Out of all the return visits I’ve made, almost all of the returning volunteers have been female.

For the longest time, I’ve noticed a significantly lower proportion of male volunteers around me, especially when issues of gender equality are brought into question. The United States Department of Labor reported in 2013 that 28.4 percent of all women in the U.S. volunteer, as opposed to 22.2 percent of all men.

In fact, the gender gap in volunteering is prevalent across the globe and can be observed in our very own university campus. Statistics from the Office of Community Outreach show that less than 30 percent of all students volunteering during the fall semester were male. In addition, out of a total of 24 applicants interviewed for an internship position for the past spring and fall semesters, only 17 percent were male The statistics are merely the tip of an iceberg, but the overall picture tells the same lopsided story.

It is not my intention to make accusations about men caring less about their community or to guilt-trip anybody into volunteering. This is merely me attempting to understand why, in a world where an estimated 45 percent of all traffickers are female, where roughly one in seven male students in U.S. colleges have been raped and where almost 25 percent of all trafficking victims are male, we continue to segregate ourselves and distinguish something as a feminist or manly cause. Compassion is universal and ungendered yet it pains me to see that this is not clearly translated in practice.

NYU Abu Dhabi held our first UNiTE Campaign To End Violence Against Women event last Wednesday where students were invited to write down their reasons for stopping violence against women and to perform in the Central Plaza throughout the day.

In preparation for the campaign, I had to design a poster to advertise the event. My search for potential poster models brought me to a male friend, whom I simply asked whether he would be willing to appear in a poster for me. Initially reluctant, he queried the cause of the poster.

As soon as the words “violence against women” escaped my lips, he shook his head.

“Bro, can’t do it. My friends … no, no. What would they say?”

What wouldthey say? That because you’re voicing out, you’re no longer manly? That because you appear on a pro-women poster, you’re anti-men? Why should anyone’s gender matter in voicing against gender-based violence? Why should anyone be ridiculed for being pro-female, or pro-equality? Is it the fear of vulnerability that you may reveal by showing that you simply care more? Is it the fear of not being macho? Or perhaps it’s something else.

In her speech for the United Nation’s HeForShe Campaign, UN Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson poignantly pointed out that “fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating.” From my personal experience, this is a statement that unfortunately hits home.

I’ve been to feminist rallies to show support and endured screams from a particularly loud and emotional lady who asked me why, “My lot are all pigs.” Many male students I know are supportive of gender equality. They believe in equal rights and equal wages, they advocate for paternity leaves, they adore working with children and will fight tooth and nail over children’s rights. But they’re also tired from being targeted and questioned.

I’ve spoken to men who avoid supporting these causes publicly, for fear of being confronted and targeted by women who unfortunately perceive them as representative of all abusers.

Others are sick of being labeled a misandrist by their male peers, or being asked the question, “What are you doing here? This is a feminist rally.”

While in high school, I volunteered with an organization that offers support to ostracized children and mothers as a result of unintentional pregnancies and domestic conflicts.The experience itself was very rewarding, and it would have been more enjoyable had my fellow male students provided more support.

My male friends would stare quizzically as I explained the adoption process in Hong Kong or how to change the diapers of a particularly squirmy baby.

That and questions like “Why are you volunteering there?” or “Are there not enough girls to do it?” would render me speechless and exasperated. It is true that many volunteer opportunities, such as teaching primary school students, caring for special needs children or infant care, are often portrayed as effeminate opportunities due to the nature of compassion required, and subsequently are avoided by many men. But why should compassion be a feminine quality? Why should childcare be labeled as a woman’s job?

Gender equality matters, but gender doesn’t — it shouldn’t. Passion and compassion are universal qualities across age, race and gender, and should be celebrated regardless of who shows it and for whatever cause.

I long to volunteer in a society where I can tell others that I’ve worked in daycare centres for infants without getting a raised eyebrow or questions regarding my masculinity. I long to volunteer in a society where we no longer have to write articles about Plan UK’s Because I Am A Girl campaign and its male campaign manager, because it will have become common practice worldwide. I long to volunteer in a society where we can be proud to stand side by side in a rally for gender equality, proud not as men but as fellow supporters of the same cause.

So be that guy who dedicates his life to service because it matters to him. Be that guy who speaks out against what is wrong. Be that guy who’s passionate about what he believes in, and is compassionate enough to show it. I ask of you: be that guy.