New York City, U.S.A — Prior to university, my faith community experience at home was emotionless, somewhat primitive in mindset and homogeneous. I never felt accepted in my community because I never met the desired standard placed by older women separated from me by a cultural and generational gap. I am loud, outspoken, proudly plus-size and just like the sons in my community, I was raised expecting to single-handedly take over the family business. I rejected the ideals of elder women who believed if a girl is not studying to be a doctor, she should be taught how to cook, clean and reproduce. And even if she is a doctor, learning how to make chai and serve it on a platter with a doily to your in-laws gracefully is a must-have skill.

I am not spending my parents’ retirement money on tuition fees to make tea for anyone. When I came to the Islamic Center of NYU, or IC, I experienced a radically different change in environment. I was on a religious high, initially. It wasn’t long before I got swept away in the communal experience and leadership opportunities that I forgot I came here to build my individual spirituality.

The IC is undoubtedly one of the most progressive and liberal, faith communities I’ve experienced. At the IC, women have the chance to be leaders, community builders, pillars of faith and spiritual dialogue, social beings and academic mavens. It is only up to ourselves, our comfort zones and barriers, whether the above is a game of pick and keep or sacrifice. I learned how to cry in a coed circle, open up to others and myself and experienced what community feels like for the first time. I was plagued with anger — why don’t other Muslim communities create such an engaging environment?

It took me a few semesters here, but I can understand why some conservative communities do not progress: out of a fear of liberalism. Is it the fear of feminism progressing exponentially, coed bonding and friendships or the replacement of individual spirituality for a communal experience? I cannot be sure if it is one or all of the above, but having experienced liberalism and progressive feminism in my undergraduate Muslim community, I can verify their fear is indeed based on an inevitable reality but that doesn’t mean the trade-off is worthless.

Yes, there were times I fell spiritually. But it was before I learned to get up and stand taller. The leadership opportunities at the IC were so attractive that I placed them above growing in my individual spirituality. I find it ironic that though I came to my undergraduate faith community for religion, it empowered me in ways I did not expect it to. There is no doubt that it is amazing to be a part of a community that is willing to let you improve them. Although, I do wish I knew what I wanted more: the community experience I yearned for, or my individual relationship with God and Islam. Instead, I focused my forces on serving social welfare needs and initiatives for the community, rather than my own spirituality.

I have experienced my spirituality, much like any other person of faith, as a roller coaster ride with steep slumps and high peaks. Now that I have made it past some of the slumps, I have taken measures to help me gain individualism in my faith. I co-founded a Muslim-Christian Dialogue club at NYU with a dear friend of mine from the Christian community. Many students from both communities get together each week and discuss our passages, raise questions, clear up confusions and challenge each other respectfully. Learning about other faiths, asking questions without consequence and hearing the stories of my community is how I was able to grow in my own faith.

I would repeat my experience a million times over because, regardless of the path I chose, I learned that it is not up to any community to ensure that each individual forms a spiritual relationship with God. The sole job of a community is to provide opportunities to nourish spirituality. It is us who must learn to spiritually capitalize on them.

Muslim women at NYU have shaped the community and can continue to take opportunities to create dialogue that addresses both their spiritual and non-spiritual needs.

The Muslim chaplain at NYU New York, Imam Khalid Latif, asked me, “If you don’t know about Islam how can you be empowered by it?” To answer his question, you can’t. Therefore, the Muslim community at NYU will always be a place that is moving forward and continuously improving.