Dear Aletheia,

I waited for you for so long. Years. Each one full of pain and suffering. Couldn’t you have spared me of all the trouble? Don’t you even have the smallest dose of sympathy?! You should have been there for me! You knew I needed you. I always had. How could you turn your back on me? How could you?!

You were the first to see me. Eons ago. You told me I was meant for you, and you for me. And I put my trust on your promises. All those years you were not here, not a day had passed without me searching for you. A search that concluded with finding only those that nearly resembled you, not mentioning how hard even that can be. But you were different, always are, and will be. You are all that I am not. All I wish to become and beyond. And I loved you for that. How could you turn your back on me? How could you?!

You are my precious mirror. You never lied to me. You never showed me what I wanted to see either. But what I needed, although it was painful at times. And for that, I loved you more than anything, knowing that you are one of a kind. How could you turn your back on me? How could you?!

Many envied you, and many more wished that you never existed. For you are a wonder they could never be, and did wonders they could never imagine doing. Only a few admired you. Even less fell in love with you. And I, most of all. Wasn’t my devotion enough for you? How could you abandon me like that? How could you?!

Everyone called me names. They said I was crazy to risk everything for you. Some even said I was weak, that I lacked what it takes to survive. But I ask you: What is there to live for in this life if not you? Why survive if it is not for you? Why even die if it is not while protecting you? But you left me all the same. To my misery and others’ ridicule. How could you do that to me? How could you?!

I was alone. Abandoned by gods and people alike. For you have left, no one could approach me. I was condemned to live a life of misery. My days were full of sorrow while I drowned in the sea of thoughts that filled my mind, that almost were my mind. Thoughts about you, and you alone. How could I ever pull you out of my mind? I never could, even if I wanted to. But it was easy for you to pull me out of yours, despite all your promises. For you can never be accused of being a liar, I ask you this: Why did you leave me, Aletheia? Why?!

But I know now. I know why you left me. I know why you did not even leave a note before you abandoned me. It is because I lied… to myself. I lied to myself when I said I would live for you. I lied to myself when I said I would die while protecting you. Behind the veil of words I uttered to your ears, you have always known that I loved you only because you loved me first. And that I cared for you only as long as you cared for me. But Aletheia, you forgot one thing. How could I ever appear truthful in the eyes of a goddess while I am a mere human?

Yours,

Philalethes