Going back home is always a time of reflection for me because it is the only time I get to sit in solitude. More often than not, this results in revelations about my life, relationships, and how I have been approaching? certain aspects of my life. This summer was no different. While some of these realizations sprung into my mind unprompted, many of them are pieces of wisdom sprinkled throughout my days by my best friends or in the content I consume.

###1. Everyone and everything is replaceable.

This phrase is one that my best friend shared with me when I was detailing a situation I was in involving other people. It is also one that I did neither believe nor appreciate at first. While this principle does not apply in every scenario, it is definitely one that has now changed my outlook on everything. Going to events I do not want to go to, being unhappy in a relationship or friendship simply because I do not think I will find someone as compatible again, or staying in a class or major that I despise, are all things I can discontinue. There will always be a better event, always someone more compatible, and always a job that I will enjoy more or earn more money from. You can always find something better. The phrase “everything is replaceable” gave me permission to leave, but it also reinforced my decision to stay. It is in the events, relationships, and classes I decide to stay in that I can distinguish what really matters to me. Staying requires effort, and now I must determine what aligns with me most, and stay.

###2. It is okay not to want everyone to be a part of your life.

I am an incredibly nostalgic person. I am also a people pleaser. These two things do not intertwine well, especially when it comes to letting go of individuals that no longer bring me happiness. One of the fundamental experiences of NYU Abu Dhabi is being a part of one friend groupone semester and then not being friends with them the next. Throughout every phase of my first year, I believed that the people that surrounded me when I was a first-year were going to be there until the end of senior year. Two semesters and a summer break later, there are fewer than a handful of people left. This is not a bad thing and does not make me a bad friend. People grow up and grow apart. Coming back from summer break has made me realize which people I look forward to seeing, and those are the ones I hold close to my heart. This year is one where I want to continue protecting my peace and not forcing myself to catch up with everyone is part of that process.

###3. Being friends with women is incredibly healing.

Unfortunately, I did not have a lot of girl friends growing up and this was only exacerbated during high school. As someone who is female-identifying, I did not realize how much of a toll that took on me. I have also been on the receiving end of society pitting women against each other, which caused me and most women in my high school to see each other as competition. That is why I just accepted that I got along better with men and I should be fine with that. Still, I always craved the difference of energy and unconditional love and support that I saw other women having in their friendships. What I did not expect was how healing the experience would be. Having a friend that you are sure is only friends with you because they truly enjoy your company but also being a support system that provides so much love and mutual admiration has made me look at myself differently. It has changed the ideas I had about myself in friendships, my relation to other women in the world, and my capacity to love. They continue to heal wounds that they had no part in creating, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

###4. You have not even met half the people that you are going to be friends with.

The people I am closest to today are ones that I barely knew during my first year. I moved in, started semester two, and came back with three entirely different groups of friends. Each time I thought that these people were my perfect match and each time new people entered my life. Whether these friendships developed in classes, on sports teams, or at jobs, I continue to be in awe of the incredible people that I have not met yet. “I cannot believe that you were not in my life last semester” is something that I have said at least 10 times in the past month. It is one of those lessons that I have to learn and relearn, but it is always one that fills me with immense joy every time I see it in action. I have probably still not spoken to half of the people that I will be friends with by the time I graduate, let alone by the time I turn 50. That is a beautiful concept.

###5. When experiencing the fear of missing out (FOMO), ask yourself if this is something you are actually interested in.

The amount of times I have laid in bed thinking about the events my friends are going to, the off-campus hangouts they are having, or the talks they are attending and have experienced a feeling of dread is innumerable. Sometimes, it even feels like there is no winning on this campus because regardless of how much I do, it still does not seem enough. The most interesting part to reflect on is that a lot of these events are not ones I would think of going to otherwise. I do not want to go to an off-campus hangout on a Friday night, a random business networking event, or the physics talk that my friend went to, so what do I fear missing out on? Asking myself this question has made me realize that FOMO is not about what the thing itself is and whether it would be enjoyable; it is about the constant expectation placed on students like myself to attend everything. It is the inescapable feeling of unworthiness placed upon me by the capitalist system that has made events I would normally find incredibly boring seem necessary. The only way I have found to exit this hamster wheel of doubt and insecurity is by being critical with myself about whether I would want to go to the hangout or talk, even if I did not see a friend of mine post about it.