Last week, one of my professors asked me to write about how to counteract the feeling commonly known as the fear of missing out (FoMO). I have set out, since then, to dissect what exactly FoMO is, how it arises and how to protect oneself from its burdens. I have written this for you, in hopes that it will be a reprieve in those moments when your mind’s energies are concerned with the supposedly better experiences that other people are having in other parts of the world that you just so happen to not be in, as informed through social media.

To begin the process of dispelling FoMO, we first need to consider where it arises from. On the surface, FoMO seems to emanate from our overexposure to other people’s lives. It takes shape when our hearts start to worry that we are not benefitting from experiences, events and stories that are being enjoyed by others. We spiral into feeling left out of social circles created by our peers and flaunted on their Instagrams and Snapchats. Therefore, the causes of FoMO are apparent: one feels uneasy from the thought that they are not partaking in “important” experiences, events and information. This uneasiness often indicates that one is sensing a hole in their own way of living life. There is a temptation to compare one’s state of affairs to those of others around them, a path that is as dangerous as sticking one’s hand into a beehive in search of honey. Thus, we ought to investigate whether it is possible to be free from this false need to be cognizant of the state of others’ lives.

Yet it is impossible to completely rid ourselves of this desire to know what other people’s lives are made of. It is only natural because these individuals may form part of our immediate environment. As such, it is only possible for us to make the decision to stay focused on our own lives in our minds, as we observe our own thoughts and experiences and decide to content ourselves with that. Therefore, if we want to practice the habit of minding our business, we must contemplate whether the information we learn about other people plays a unique role in our lives or if it is inconsequential. That would lessen the burden of information that we carry. In other words, does watching a fifteen second story on your friend's Instagram account add to your life in a way worth not missing out on?

You may say that some information this friend shares is important. You may have learned of the queen’s passing, Russia’s war in Ukraine and the floods in Pakistan through scrolling on your friends’ Instagram stories. Social media is one way of staying informed on important news. Nevertheless, if the news is truly essential to our awareness of global events, would social media be the only way through which we access it?

If we truly care about the happenings of the world and the potential contributions we can make in strengthening the good, ought we not strive to receive our news from the more accurate sources available? Whatever our need be, there are thousands of reputable news sources which disqualify your Instagram friends as trustworthy information outlets. In other words, it is completely possible to stay informed on all relevant global conversations without having to deal with loud snippets of your friends’ attendance at a Harry Styles concert, photos of them bowling with their boyfriend, or camel rides in some desert in Dubai. If you agree, doing that instead renders the uneasiness you feel from missing out on pointless information. Even if you indeed are left out, are you really being excluded from significant experiences that just so happen to be available only through interacting with your friends’ Instagram stories?

You might then say that global news is only an excuse to be on social media. Truly, you use social media for its intended purpose: to socialize. Well, that is a valid desire. We see this clearly in the design of social media platforms, where there are comment sections and reply buttons to facilitate well organized dialogue. Yet unless you live in a highly secluded environment and one with ruthless debaters, this kind of dialogue is possible in the real world, too. And the argument stands: if your desire is to be social, to whatever degree that comes naturally to you, there will be means to do so within your non digital environment. Of course, there is a danger of creating an echo chamber, which is why you might say that you need to stay on social media to expose yourself to varying points of view. You may have a point. Yet, the world is expanding and societies are becoming less homogenous. Unless you happen to live in a society that forbids freedom of expression, I doubt that it is truly possible for all the distinct people in your immediate community to agree on every single piece of news printed in a newspaper. You must disagree and that is sufficient to get the effect we seek from dialogue: to challenge and to be challenged so that we may grow in our understanding of the world around us.

The aim, then, is not that you don’t miss out. You most certainly will, but not from the quintessential happenings of life. You will most surely leave this earth having not known everything there is to know. That doesn’t mean that you should not seek out new experiences or knowledge to enrich your life. Certainly do. But … might I suggest that your friend’s Instagram post of their tuna sandwich might be something worth missing out on?