With a cap on my head, a gown over my clothes and a camera flashing in my eyes, it suddenly hit me: I am going to be graduating in less than 85 days and I still haven’t done half of the things I had promised myself I would do before leaving university.

Professionally dressed seniors walked in and out of Campus Center to take their commencement portraits and try on their graduation gowns, but as with all of the other senior milestones this year, the festivities were limited to a few Instagram posts and emotional messages to my friends and family. On top of that, on Mar. 1, the Class of 2021 received an update that this year’s commencement will be held virtually again. Although many seniors anticipated this heartbreaking news, many were living off of the hope that our class would get to celebrate graduation in any in-person capacity. Even though a part of me always knew that graduation would be online, I still can’t comprehend that I will not get to celebrate my last day as a NYU Abu Dhabi student with most of my friends at the same place.

Commencement has always been the day I’ve fantasized about throughout my time at NYUAD. I was excited for my family to finally meet the friends I’ve made on campus. I was looking forward to seeing the proud faces of my professors, colleagues and family members as I walked across the stage. These sensations, and the very essence of such celebrations, are undeniably lost during virtual events. Even the thought of being limited to four friends to share this anticipated ceremony sends shivers down my spine.

As the first class to graduate without a single in-person senior event, the Class of 2021 did not get a chance to experience what a “normal” senior year would typically look like. Instead, the most action our class has gotten was socially distant Zoom scream sessions and a venting board outside of the East Dining Hall organized by the senior year committee. With the nature of NYUAD’s study aways, the last time our entire class was together was in sophomore fall. Over the past two years, I couldn’t stop thinking about senior spring — the semester that would reunite all the seniors again in one place. But with the intense restrictions, both on and off campus, senior spring has taken a very different turn.

It’s not only the events that we’re missing out on. This year, I haven’t been able to see more than four of my friends at once. I haven’t been able to reconnect with so many seniors outside of my most immediate circle. I haven’t been able to meet new people on campus like I used to. I miss showing up at gatherings and outings and introducing myself to people. Last year, I used to walk across campus and smile at people I had only briefly met; with such a small campus, this kept a constant smile on my face. Now, my eyes barely meet familiar faces, and when they do, my smile struggles to make it from beneath my double-layered face mask.

The NYUAD experience has always been grounded in change and mobility. But when senior year comes around, you start to think of every friendship, connection and encounter you have had with anyone on campus. Over the past few years, I’ve switched between friend groups, grew during study and adapted during the many changes. One thing that remains constant is my desire to stay close to this community and to the friendships I’ve built here.

While it is absolutely incredible to be surrounded by peers who are from around the world, it is also heartbreaking to realize that the chances of seeing the people you love again are quite slim. With a global pandemic still creeping around our shoulders, I will be saying goodbye to most of my friends on campus with absolutely no certainty that I would be able to see them again anytime soon.

No matter how much I think about everything that has been lost, nothing will change. That’s why I’ve taken it upon myself to savor every moment in my last two months as an undergraduate. Although I crave a fancy gala, I’ve had the best time cooking dinners with a few friends every week. Even though many of us would’ve loved a Splash Bash or a senior beach day, soaking up the sun and ranting about capstone is still therapeutic when surrounded by the people you love the most.

Although it’s often difficult to overlook the seemingly never ending capstone work, the anxiety over applications, and the uncertainty of what the future holds, the small moments are what made my NYUAD experience feel complete. As I stroll on Saadiyat during sunset every day, I reflect on the moments this institution has given me over the past four years, and I realize that in many ways, that’s the best closure and ending I could have ever asked for.