The clatter of angry keyboard mashing echoed across the Highline this weekend as rage-filled senior Olwias De’azhull crafted nothing less than his magnum opus. With the calculated poise of a dozen gym sign-up bots, De’azhull eviscerated the lackluster spring 2021 commencement plans with all the elegant grace of Albert’s user interface. Satisfied with his handiwork and certain that legions of his comrades would flock to his tribalistic appeal, De’azhull waited for the affirmative Facebook reacts to come flooding in. There was only one problem — he’d accidentally posted his rant one day too early.

“So I lost count of the days, sue me!” explained De’azhull. “I knew I wouldn’t like what admin would probably have to say so I did future me a favor and typed up how he was going to feel. I then got so excited about becoming the vessel for my peers’ disappointment and frustration that I just couldn’t help myself.”

It appears the garish tirade whose word count exceeded De’azhull’s most recent capstone draft was prepared long in advance. Indeed, all reports indicate that De’azhull was going to be frothing at the mouth regardless of the final announcement. Eager to share his long simmering thoughts, he spent the rest of the interview spewing more angry wind than the air conditioners between the D2 double doors.

“What has the SYE committee been doing all these months?” he asked. “Navigating a complex matrix of administrative and bureaucratic constraints inside a rapidly changing public health environment that’s undermined their programming and advocacy efforts at every turn due to no fault of their own? Please — they’re just lazy.”

“Also, admin clearly hates us,” he continued. “They take vindictive joy in shattering our dreams. Why else would they have gone into education?”

When asked what he felt entitled to as a final farewell, he said, “The least they could do is a full in-person ceremony with unlimited family guests, universal offer letters to McKinsey and a public apology for asking me to extend my week-long quarantine by four extra hours to accommodate for university provided transportation.”

While De’azhull’s demands might have been impossible to meet, the hundreds of seniors who found validation in his post all had varied and divergent hopes and expectations for their final liminal moment at NYU Abu Dhabi.

Whether showing their parents the place that’s come to define who they are, having a collective moment of physical solidarity with their classmates or hearing Trevor Noah’s silky smooth voice, the Class of 2021 was full of genuine hope for a beautiful sendoff despite the circumstances. Still, others were already so done with NYUAD that the idea of queuing for hours in cartoonish outfits to receive a meaningless piece of paper in service of glorifying a deeply flawed institution prompted severe nausea.

Regardless of whether commencement will be a post-pandemic utopia or just a Zoom webinar of the Vice Chancellor playing a kazoo, the Class of 2021 is bound to feel not insubstantial disappointment come the commencement announcement later this week. May we legitimately grieve what might have been and look forward with gratitude to whatever eventually will be.