I take pride in my flexibility, both as a person and as a mental health professional. But, like many of us, I wasn’t necessarily born flexible; I was conditioned into it.

My previous job as a clinical psychologist at the International Criminal Court took me around the world and pushed me to adapt to all sorts of unusual spaces and conditions within which I was providing support for victims. I am no stranger to shifting circumstances. However, switching from in-person to online counseling in March was a change I never anticipated; my flexibility was challenged.

Prior to the pandemic, I wouldn’t have even considered “crossing over” to online counseling. I felt about it the same way I feel about having a decaf instead of real coffee – just not my thing. I absolutely love my job and I love how connected I feel with my clients in the safe space of my therapy room. I love the real presence and sense of togetherness each session gives me, the privilege of being in a position to listen, to help and to be there.

Why would I ever want to replace that with a virtual reality? Frankly, I had no choice. None of us had any choice — we are mental health service providers, first and foremost, and that overrides any and all personal preferences.

And that’s how my online counseling journey began some six months ago, and still counting. This unwanted shift allowed me to adapt to online counseling, learn what it offered and dismantle my own pre-pandemic prejudices, while also embracing its benefits.

So, let’s take a look at the most common myths about online counselling and bust them as a way of inviting skeptics, like I once was, to (re)consider trying it out:

It is different; it requires some getting used to at first. Effectiveness of counseling depends mainly on the level of investment and level of professionalism from both the counselor and the client. If both sides are fully invested, the format won’t make a difference.

Yes and no. Building a relationship with a counselor at the beginning of treatment is very hard and takes time and effort, but it becomes easier as time progresses. In an online setting, the actual physical presence and connectedness one gets from sharing the same physical space is missing, but is compensated with a mutual desire to connect.

Therapist Lori Gottlieb talks about the “surprising intimacy” of online therapy sessions: instead of feeling distanced from her patients, she was surprised to find that she felt even closer to them.

A hard no. Online counseling offered through Zoom is Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act compliant, which means it is completely confidential and safe. The waiting room feature is an added protection, as is the fact that all counselors are using private and confidential spaces to provide service from. Confidentiality is never compromised.

Again, it’s as hard and as easy as in in-person sessions. Empathy and compassion are the features that make a real difference in the level of comfort and our ability to “dig deep” together. That is without a doubt equally offered and maintained in online sessions as well.

Maybe. Obviously, having a session from the comfort of your bed, room or toilet (oh, yes) can also mean more distractions, but that’s something we address together and even analyze in the moment. That’s how ad hoc conversations about pets, paintings, closets and more take place, adding more variety to sessions.

Yes and no. Counseling is always more effective if one feels reasonably comfortable in it. However, getting appropriate support and care in a timely manner always takes precedent. Leaning into potential discomfort or weirdness of online counseling could be a good tradeoff, assuming that it results in a relief from struggle and reduces further harm.

Despite the changed circumstances due to the pandemic, online counseling is here to stay. Some people might even choose to continue to use it even when in-person therapy becomes available again.

Will we all have to permanently adjust to the new norm of doing everything online? I don’t have an answer to that, but I do believe that online counseling is definitely worth a try. It may not feel the same, it may not be what you prefer, but it is certainly offered and done with the same amount of care and personal investment from every one of us, your (online/decaf) counselors.