The geckos of second floors everywhere must now fill out the housing app.

After years of persistent colonization, geckos will now have formal living arrangements in Spring 2019. While they will not take up a slot in the four-person suite group, they must still choose a room — and a group — to stay with them for the entire year.

“We’re helping our students play another octave,” explained an unnamed ResEd employee, “You think a roommate from another country is transformative, try living with a different species!”

“Oh,” replied first year student Javier Villanueva, “I thought I already did...”

“I only see them every few days, and then just their blur as they scurry past me. It's been over two months, but they haven’t said a words to me or done any chores. I’m confused about what they eat, they don’t seem to have any sleep schedule, and I have no idea where they spend the rest of their time.”

Such similarities between geckos and students bode well for the success of the gecko housing program.

Take Roommate Agreements, for example. While for some they provide much needed law and order, for third-year student, Melissa Carelittle, even illiterate and logically challenged reptiles could fill them out. “There were like 60 questions, and we got so impatient we just copy-pasted Don’t be a douchebag into every blank.”

By this metric, the geckos should have no trouble at all.

“It would be just like the January term housing application,” said the same ResEd staffer, “just mindlessly click through it ‘till you’re done!”

“In fact,” she continued, “this sort of flexibility is the reason why we make housing as redundant as it is. Sure, we could just look at your our enrollment to figure out if you’ll be on campus, but that would be very exclusionary towards the geckos, who don’t take any classes whatsoever.”

ResEd and the IT department have announced that they will be installing Apple Watches on the highline path so that the geckos may fill out the application on a user interface more appropriate for their size.

Another noteworthy ramification of the initiative is the debate about issuing IDs and room keys to reptilian residents. While geckos, for years, have gotten into second floor rooms without the aid of either, many remain adamant that they require equal access. ResEd has promised them new combined OneCards by their late January move in date. Most geckos expect distribution to finish by Fall 2019.

This new change may take a while for campus to adjust to. But with Tower of Babel already planning gecko workshops and Public Safety making Gecko CPR training mandatory, it looks like NYUAD is sticking to it.