In the run-up to ally week, Anchorage collected submissions from members of the NYU Abu Dhabi community about what allyship means to them — both from the position of being an ally and the position of needing an ally, often at the same time.

While it may seem that allyship is difficult to define and intensely personal, certain themes go through all of the responses: allyship isn’t easy. Allyship is an active choice. It is an action that inherently comes with risk, but it is incredibly necessary and deeply appreciated.

What is most desired of allies is the capacity to listen and keep learning. If you come in thinking you know nothing at all about allyship, no one will fault you for your willingness to learn. If you think you know enough to speak for the community you are an ally to, don’t forget to continue listening.

Geo Kamus

Growing up marginalized has taught me to preemptively build walls around me, ready to retaliate against anyone who could dissolve the marginal resolve I have mustered with a single hateful word. Even with the immense fortune of never being bullied the way it is commonly depicted in the media — physical beatings, verbal abuse, attempts at psychological conversion — the fear of it was enough to chip away at me. Allies are an important reminder that we don't have to carry the burden alone. Through their active — or silent — support of marginalized community, my own prejudices against their perceived lack of tolerance as an out-group fades away. Marginalization hurts the oppressor and oppressed. And so allies are important partners in stitching the two groups together.

Odera Dinobi Ebeze

I view allyship as a platform to learn more about the groups being disenfranchised as well as a platform for learning through which I can further educate the masses about the issues that are intrinsically relevant to the groups deserving of allies. I think intersectional allyship is even more fundamental. As a black African trying to navigate my way around environments that are not tolerant of people of my skin colour, I sometimes find that issues relating to inclusion and equality which are central to my personal ideals are also resonant with other groups such as the LGBT community. However, it is important to note that while individuals may on the surface uphold ideals of equality, inclusion and freedom, they are very specific — for personal, cultural and religious reasons — about the organizations they ally with. While one may be promoting equality for all, they may not be as vocal on similar issues relating to other marginalized groups. Though I may not consider myself an intersectional ally, I hope that by being a black African and an ally of the LGBTQ community, I am situating myself in a position to engage in discourse with other potential allies in order to foster cross-sectional solidarity to the best of my ability.

Leslie Gray

I think allies are extremely useful. ... For me, allies are people that speak out when they hear something that isn't right. They are people that help fight for others’ rights altruistically. They don't steal the spotlight. Allies are people that help whether it's one person or an entire group.

Mario Encina

One of the simplest things that I hope allies would do for me is calling others out — professors, friends, etc. — when they use language that is actively or passively discriminatory towards LGBTQ individuals. That means [instances such as] when a professor in class assumes for a class exercise that a male student should be dating a female student or when they make very gendered comments about what is expected behavior from a real or hypothetical individual based on their gender or sexuality. It may also mean inquiring about the wellbeing of these communities when discussing different ways of being diverse on campus — which is often only limited to country, ethnicity or religion. This is one of the things that I struggle most with, and one that I simply cannot do on my own without feeling deeply uncomfortable.

Vladislav Maksimov

An ally is not a person who simply agrees with an ideal, nor a passive bystander that happens to believe in the same things you do. An ally is a person who actively participates, protects and promotes a cause. Allies are as much part of an outcome as the members of the group who need allies.

Reed Noel

I am recently really into the term accomplice instead of ally as there has been so much of allyship that is just for show instead of asking folks to actively align with marginalized groups and take steps beyond acceptance or tolerance. I wish more allies realized how many risks LGBTQ folks take in coming out and existing in public, and that it isn't too much for us to ask them to take some similar risks to support and uplift the folks who need it.

Guillaume Sylvain

Being an ally requires a lot of humility, but also compassion. It demands great attention to context and space. An ally, as any bystander, takes on the responsibility to intervene when hearing words [or] witnessing actions that can potentially harm and dehumanize any community member.

Joaquin Kunkel

Allyship provides a fundamental system that makes a group's presence acknowledged and respected, fostering integration and celebration of such group's distinguishing characteristics and values within the broader community it belongs to. I have sensed in others — and myself — the notion that one is not worthy of calling themselve an ally of a group if one is not completely familiarized with what sets the group apart, what fights the group goes through or how one is supposed to act around members of the group. Sometimes potential allies are intimidated away from a group because they feel like they don't know enough about it. This feeling is promoted by excessive expectations of full familiarity and correctness in allies and by aggressive rejection if ignorance, curiosity or disagreements arise. Thus curiosity becomes frowned upon and alienating. I would like to see curiosity become something that encourages people to become allies and to learn more about a group, rather than an object of separation.

Annalisa Galgano

To me, being an ally means doing my best to actively learn what someone wants or needs from me. Being an ally means educating myself and being supportive of everyone’s equal dignity.